...Still Got My Health, So Why Do I Care?

     I used to be a smoker. Emphasis on the word "used." Over the last few months after running into a rough patch, smoking was one thing that I gave up. not only because I couldn't afford it, but also because there is nothing I despise more than asking someone for a cigarette. I always feel awkward and guilty, and since they are so expensive to begin with, I feel like they are supporting my habit as well as their own.
     If there is one place the would help me curb my smoking habit, it would be home. I never smoked in the house and would rarely smoke outside the house. If I were to smoke, It would be out at a club, at work, or over to a friend's house. I've managed to average one cigarette a week. That's amazing considering that when I had money and could purchase my own packs, I was smoking at least a pack a week. So figuring one pack per week to one cigarette per week, is quite the accomplishment. oh and I haven't killed anyone. Ha ha ha.
     Being home has been the greatest help in quitting smoking, not being able to go anywhere, that is. Also, there is the fact of not having the money to do anything with as well. After hour cuts and the addition of breaks, equaling more hours cut, my pay has decreased. Looking for other work is a joke. There are others out there who don't have a single job, not being able to find work, let alone, myself who has one looking for another. In a way, I feel like I'm cheating those who are really trying hard to find work whilst trying to make it by, myself. These past few months are going by a little too fast and I'm trying to make due. The one day at a time isn't really working, but when you have no money to do anything, and trying to figure out how the hell to get back on your feet.......it's rough. I have my computer and I look for work. other than that, it is also a great distraction for when I get depressed, nervous, and scared.
     Anyway, my cell, which was temporarily out of service, is still out of service. First comes my car then all other things. HOW MUCH MORE CAN I CUT FROM MY BUDGET!!!!!! I'm down to my car payment, that's it. My folks plan on helping me as soon as July rolls around. but I don't want to wait until then....might as well, since it's almost here already. Ha ha ha. Aside from all the bullshit that people, YES, I SAID PEOPLE, put others through. I'm trying to remain hopeful, calm, and refrain from getting too depressed, because, so far, I still got my health!.