I Guess I Shouldn't Be So Surprised...

I suppose it shouldn't be any surprise to me that society seems to be CLEARLY more messed up than I thought. I guess the names of the boys who harassed Karen Klein have been released, and NOW, it's them and THEIR families that are being harassed. I'm sure there are quite a few people out there who are like "Yeah, time to give them a taste of their own medicine!" Honestly, what is that gonna solve? It's just gonna prove to them that what they did was okay because that's how we handle things and it makes it okay. Currently, people ARE harassing their families and I feel that is down right despicable! TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT, FOLKS!!!! I'm APPALLED by this particular reaction. The families have been on the receiving end of death threats. In one incident, the police was told that one family was being held hostage, only to find that the family was home safe and sound.

So, I guess, we are a vengeful nation when an adult gets bullied by a child, but when it comes to children bullying other children, we look at the bullying as "character building." Today's society sickens and scares me. If this is our first instinct to react towards the bullies families this way, then we have a LOT to learn from our ancestors. Bullies are not born, they are taught and made. I don't think it's just at home, but I think a lot of what society does as well. One of the kids says he was thinking of Tosh.0 when he was insulting Mrs. Klein. I admit, I do enjoy watching Tosh.0 but I do find that the segment in which he has 15 seconds to make as many jokes about a picture can be a bit crude at a times. The kids need to be taught that they shouldn't copy what happens on TV. I also feel that Parents should be mindful of what they watch around their kids and, at least, explain to them that although it may be funny, it's rude, impolite, and wrong to be mean to people.

I think I've had my fill ranting for today. Comment and let me know what you think on here and on Facebook. and Please, check out Ron Kemp's Blog Enough is Enough.

...One For The Road.

So, this will be my last post for today, I wanted to help raise awareness to Teen Suicides and bullying. I recently discovered a blog by someone who is trying to not only raise awareness, but also help stop the bullying. Ron Kemp and his blog, Enough is Enough, inspired me to write about being bullied in school. I have tried to put all of that in the past and behind me, almost to the point of erasing it from my memory. I remember times when I was so depressed, I thought of ending my life. It was my close friends who cared about me enough to raise awareness to teachers and other friends who cared about me and helped me see that killing myself wasn't the solution, and that it would cause more harm than good. Please, check out his blog (link at the bottom of this post) and help him and myself raise awareness and lets put an end to teen suicide. It doesn't matter who you are or what you are, bullying is wrong and it needs to stop.
                                                                          Thank you. ~Dave




Ron Kemp's Enough Is Enough

Dave's Confessional: #1

     I've never been much of a blogger, vlogger, or anything that had to do with keeping anytime of electronic journal in cyberspace. I've had blogs before with maybe a few post here and there, but mostly about nothing in particular. I've never really had a special "skill" just a love for writing. Needless to say, most of those blogs, vlogs, whatever failed. This blog has been a semi-decent one. I've managed to write posts, have people who read them, if only for maybe one or two view on a few. I had at least 28 on my post about bullying and opening up about being bullied and my hopes for everyone....most likely, those hopes are in vain. I could have just stopped blogging and let it rest, however, I don't post daily, maybe once or twice within a week period. That fact in itself is fairly odd, since all journals I've kept have failed.
     They would start out with "Oh, I have the perfect blog recipe. I'll write about something I like. Then I'll wait a week and make another post." only that never happened, I'd make a post and then  next week would roll around, I'd make another post, etc. Eventually, I would forget a week and try and backtrack and make up for it in the next post....if there ever was one. I may pick up the blog a month or so later and by that time, my interest in whatever it was originally about had lost it's peak. I figured with this one, it was about me, my life, and whatever I wanted to fucking post at any given moment. I could literally write about ANYTHING my heart desired and it would be ok. I could post as many times as I want to no matter when. I tried a daily journal, pen and paper, and kept up with it daily....but eventually missed days and had to recap. That in itself is bad for me because my memory isn't all that great. (I've been trying to exorcise it and keep myself sharp by mixing up Crosswords, Wordfinds, and anagrams. so far, I believe it's working. hopefully. I need more brain games Ha ha ha. Anyway. I wanted to take a brief moment to kinda pat myself on the back for keeping with this blog for as long as I have and updating it as well as I have. You have no idea how easy it is for me to overlook posting on my blogs. I also wanted to thank those who have viewed my posts. I appreciate all the support and views. I'm not looking to "make it big", this is just a place for me to vent and share personal thoughts on a cybertronic blank canvas. Thank you. ~Dave

...Still Got My Health, So Why Do I Care?

     I used to be a smoker. Emphasis on the word "used." Over the last few months after running into a rough patch, smoking was one thing that I gave up. not only because I couldn't afford it, but also because there is nothing I despise more than asking someone for a cigarette. I always feel awkward and guilty, and since they are so expensive to begin with, I feel like they are supporting my habit as well as their own.
     If there is one place the would help me curb my smoking habit, it would be home. I never smoked in the house and would rarely smoke outside the house. If I were to smoke, It would be out at a club, at work, or over to a friend's house. I've managed to average one cigarette a week. That's amazing considering that when I had money and could purchase my own packs, I was smoking at least a pack a week. So figuring one pack per week to one cigarette per week, is quite the accomplishment. oh and I haven't killed anyone. Ha ha ha.
     Being home has been the greatest help in quitting smoking, not being able to go anywhere, that is. Also, there is the fact of not having the money to do anything with as well. After hour cuts and the addition of breaks, equaling more hours cut, my pay has decreased. Looking for other work is a joke. There are others out there who don't have a single job, not being able to find work, let alone, myself who has one looking for another. In a way, I feel like I'm cheating those who are really trying hard to find work whilst trying to make it by, myself. These past few months are going by a little too fast and I'm trying to make due. The one day at a time isn't really working, but when you have no money to do anything, and trying to figure out how the hell to get back on your feet.......it's rough. I have my computer and I look for work. other than that, it is also a great distraction for when I get depressed, nervous, and scared.
     Anyway, my cell, which was temporarily out of service, is still out of service. First comes my car then all other things. HOW MUCH MORE CAN I CUT FROM MY BUDGET!!!!!! I'm down to my car payment, that's it. My folks plan on helping me as soon as July rolls around. but I don't want to wait until then....might as well, since it's almost here already. Ha ha ha. Aside from all the bullshit that people, YES, I SAID PEOPLE, put others through. I'm trying to remain hopeful, calm, and refrain from getting too depressed, because, so far, I still got my health!.

....When You Finally Can't Lie Anymore.

     I think I brainwashed myself into not remembering all the negative that happened while I was growing up. I was always a chunky kid growing up, I wasn't into sports, and felt more at home on the stage singing. As a very young child, I remember noticing both genders. As the years progressed, I noticed my body would react differently towards males, but never understood why. At that age, between the ages of 7-10, I had no idea what it was to be Gay. I didn't really play with toy cars, I proffered dolls or "action figures" to tossing a ball around, even if my dad was around more to do so. My Father worked nights, so, I understand the reason for him not being available for that. More so now since I work overnights myself. All I knew was that I was a kid, doing what kids do, play and learn.

     As I got older, there was the introduction of "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" where boys and girls held hands, shared their stuff. It was considered a big deal if one or the other pecked the other on the cheek. In middle school was when I really started to notice my attraction to males. I went to GRMS for my 6th grade year. During that year I tried to keep the front that I was sort of normal. I had crushes on a couple girls that were on my class wing. But I often secretly wondered about a few of the guys. J.H. was kinda dorky but adorable at the same time. R.M. was a typical Jock type and one I often found myself thinking about more often than not. Spring of 2000, My family and I moved to the next town over and would start going to that school instead. During the summer I went off to camp. 

     The church my parents and I went to would send kids to a christian camp every summer. One day, during my first summer there, one of the guys in the cabin I was in came over and talked to me. It was really hot that day and approached me wearing nothing but a long t-shirt. I vaguely remember talking about girls, him asking me about which ones I thought were cute. I have to admit, I had thought he was cute and was really nervous when this happened. I'm not entirely sure of what his name is, I think it was Nick, but that's a guess. Once camp was over, I started my 7th grade year at Hall-Dale Middle. While getting established I happened to become friends with a group of 6 or 7 kids. Among my small group of friends there was one guy whom I would fantasize about. C.H., something attracted me to him like no one else.

     Along with discovering myself, I did have a few bullies. J.C. was one who shoved me in the gym storage closet and held on to the door. after I stopped resisting did he go back and sit down. I was found by the gym teacher who yelled at me for "hiding" in it. I guess he got the class to go along with it. He would also kick my chair in class, seeing as I was assigned to sit in front of him. Another kid, who would follow me to High School, would purposefully bump into me, Randomly pinch my nipples and twist them, and call me different, disrespectful names. Most of it I battled without the help of an adult, sometimes I did go and seek help, however I found that help from the school faculty to be less of help and more of a target setter. The teacher or whoever would talk to the bully who, in turn, would put both situations together and realize that I must have said something and that would warrant more harassing behavior.
     I feel that most kids don't bully as much as they used to in schools only because now days it seems like schools have cameras, on site security, a tighter grip on where each student is at all times. School is almost like an institution or a jail with extremely high security. I've always thought about what if I could go back to high school? Do it all over again.....I would want to go back to the way I knew it, when the bullies could pick on you in school, the internet was a privilege that my parents had to grant me the use of, and I didn't have to worry about cameras or intense security systems. The rate of teen suicides back then was a very small number, or you didn't hear about them that often. If I had to go back in time and do over my high school the way the high school system is now, I would probably, at least, attempt suicide. ALL kids have access to the internet now and, unless the school system doesn't follow each student's facebook feed, bullying gets overlooked.
     I made it, I SURVIVED High School, but there are kids out there who haven't. Be Aware. If there is a kid in school who is being bullied and harassed based on WHATEVER they might be, It's time to take a stand. Be human. If you think that standing up to someone who is being a bully is harmful to your own social status, then you are just as at fault as the bully. You are ALLOWING it to happen. That is just as wrong as committing the act itself. BE HUMAN, show Humanity, or the fate of the human race will end barbarically.



UPDATE: I wanted to extend a much needed credit to the Enough is Enough blog for inspiring this post. I started reading that blog the day I posted this and It woke me up to the fact of how often teens are bullied to the point of ending their lives. Please, help stop the cruelty and be kind to others and teach kindness to others.  And, please, visit the Enough is Enough blog by Ron Kemp. Thank you. ~Dave

In My Life......I Loved You More.

I haven't really come to a final decision, however I've placed the idea of retirement for Miss Danessa Jade on the table of things to consider. Currently I'm on hiatus or a "vacation," if you will. Do I enjoy doing drag? Yes, I do. My thoughts for putting this on the table is the fact that places to perform are a distance away. Currently, my finances are short and I don't have the funds to go to places to perform. My make-up is not the cheapest because it's one of the best out there. I just am not able to afford it, really. I had someone suggest staying on the break until I decide to get back into it. I feel it's a decent idea, I have the feeling that that may be what I end up doing. Waiting until I'm more financially stable and then get back into it. Anyway, that's my thoughts for right now. Will update with my decision. I have one more show planned for this year, and I plan on honoring it. Although, It may end up being my last show for quite a while. ~Dave